Online dating gets a bad rap, mostly because people who go about it foolishly wind up being very vocal about how terrible it is. In fact, there are some very simple (but VERY NECESSARY) steps you can go through to ensure a dating experience that is no more unsafe than going on a regular/conventional/offline date.
Keep in mind that when you meet a potential date in ‘real life’, i.e. offline, you will usually have had at least one face-to-face interaction with them — that’s how you figured out that you wanted to date each other in the first place, and probably how the initial asking-out occurred. But with online dating, that first interaction (which tells you a LOT) doesn’t happen until the date clock has already started. So the rules and timeline for things needs to be a little bit different to accommodate for that fact.
1) Use an anonymous email account! Don’t use your real name when signing up for the account, and don’t put your real name into the address itself. Don’t graduate to using your ‘real’ email account with someone until you’ve met them at least once and gotten a positive vibe, and you both would like to continue seeing each other. Don’t give them your MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc. account until you know each other better. And for goodness sake, DO NOT use your work email. You can visit Tech Tips for more hints about how to make email more online dating friendly.
2) Meet in a public place. This means you don’t go to your date’s place and have them cook you dinner on your first date, or even your third date if you want to be super-safe.
3) Keep tabs on your drink. In an ideal world, no one would ever have to worry about this tip. But sadly, we are far from ideal. Make sure to monitor your beverage — retrieve your own drinks from the bar, and don’t leave your drink alone while you hit the restroom. These are just precautions, but they can make a big difference between a dud date and a disaster date.
4) Arrange your transport ahead of time. If you wind up in a situation where your creepy-vibe-giving date is in a position to drive you home, you’ve failed me! Make sure to make very specific arrangements. For example, “My car is in the shop so a friend is picking me up. She has to get me at X o’clock since she works early. Sorry if this puts a damper on things, but she’s doing me a big favor!” Anyone who pushes about this is bad news. Remember you can always slip off to the bathroom and call a taxi or a friend (who already knows you’re on this date).
5) Don’t get overly physical right away. Getting hot and heavy right away tends to lend itself to winding up in someone’s home or a hotel room. These are simply not options for those initial dates, so try and keep the physical contact reasonably restrained (i.e. above the belt, at most) until you get to know the person a bit better. This is a good tip for any dating scenario, of course, but it’s crucial for online stuff.
6) Don’t have someone meet you at work. Don’t even necessarily tell them exactly where your place of work is. It’s fine to mention your neighborhood, and chivalrous inclinations like wanting to pick a lady up or take her home are lovely, but should be avoided at first. Little white lies such as “I’m parked around the corner, but I have to make a call first” or even simply grabbing a cab home are necessary evils during the online date courtship period.
7) Be cautious about what digital images you swap. Only send pictures that you would be comfortable seeing show up out there in the great wild e-world, since you have no control over what happens to a picture once it leaves your end.
8) Don’t feel bad or awkward about following any of these rules. Anyone who is a respectful and savvy date will not be overly pushy or aggressive about making you break them. If they are, they are not a person you should be dating anyhow.
